


Home

by xxforeyes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, and louis is trying to deal with it, heartbroken louis, it's been 3 months since zayn left, zayn leaves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-21 09:20:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4823609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxforeyes/pseuds/xxforeyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You.. you left a shirt at our—my place.” he finally says. </p>
<p>He’s a coward. He is such a fucking coward. Because more than the fact that he really didn’t say anything he wanted to say, he was afraid that Zayn can hear it anyway. Can hear—I love you, I miss you, come back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> This is another one for Zouis. I wanted it to be good for them this time. So I hope you guys like it :)
> 
> For the record, I don't believe that Zayn really left. It's all stunting. I just wrote about it for the sake of the inspiration I had. Zaynie will be back and we will see Zouis wreaking havoc on the boys again :)
> 
> you can find me on tumblr as xxforeyes :)

A T-shirt. 5 years and all he’s left with is a fucking T-shirt. 

It’s 2 in the morning and Louis is wide awake. He’s lying in bed, clutching the t-shirt like a life line and— _it still fucking smells like him_ , he thinks. It smells like cigarette smoke and cinnamon and old leather. But mostly, it just smells like home. 

He grabs his phone on his nightstand and unlocks it. He really shouldn’t call. He should just go to bed. He should just leave it alone. But Louis’s never been good at not doing what he shouldn’t. So he calls. 

It rings.  _Please don’t pick up_. 

And rings.  _Please don’t pick up_. 

And rings.  _Please do_ —“Lou?" 

And fuck. What did he want to say again? Why the hell did he think this was a good idea? Why does he never listen to that tiny voice in his head always telling him not to do anything stupid? 

"Lou?" 

He really needs to say something now. Anything. Now.

"Louis, please say something." 

He wanted to say so much, is the thing. There were too many things he wanted answers to. So many things they left unsaid. But now, hearing the voice that has been haunting his dreams these past 3 months, he doesn’t really know where to start. 

"You.. you left a shirt at our—my place.” he finally says. 

He’s a coward. He is such a fucking coward. Because more than the fact that he really didn’t say anything he wanted to say, he was afraid that Zayn can hear it anyway. Can hear— _I love you, I miss you, come back_. 

He could hear Zayn sigh. “Yeah? Which one?" 

"Stone Roses." 

"Isn’t that one yours?" 

And shit if that just doesn’t fuck Louis up because he doesn’t know. He isn’t sure because they shared everything. Their clothes, their homes, their families, their secrets, their hopes, their dreams—their lives. It was always louisandzayn. Partners in crime. Zaptains. And now it was Louis without Zayn. And he just doesn’t know how to be that yet. It’s been 3 months and he still doesn’t know how to be that. 

"Yeah. I… Yeah, I think it is mine. Sorry… I was just…this is weird. I shouldn’t have called." 

"No! Lou, wait. Please." 

He doesn’t know what else to do, so he waits. He can almost see Zayn biting his lip—a nervous habit that he couldn’t break. He wanted to hold him and never let go. 

"I’m really glad you called and I’m sorry, Lou. I should have told you. I should have done a lot of things. I should have called. I fucked up.” He could hear Zayn’s voice shake and he knows he’s crying now. 

The thing is, Louis understands. He completely understands because he knows Zayn. Knows him better than anyone and after he got through the pain of getting left behind, he realized he wasn’t all that surprised that he left when he did. They all had their fair share of bullshit being thrown at them but Zayn had it the worst and he hasn’t been okay for a long time. They were all tired of being someone they weren’t so he really couldn’t blame Zayn for wanting out. God knows they’ve all wanted that at some point. He just wished he could have had a heads up. Or maybe he just didn’t want to admit that he saw the signs but didn’t do anything about it. Maybe he just didn’t want to admit that he was wrong too. 

“You had to do what was best for you, Zayn. I get that now. You’re a prick and it fucking hurts. Hurts like hell to be quite honest but I get it.” He’s crying now too. “Maybe I should have done something too, yeah? Maybe I should have fought harder. For you. For us. Then maybe..”— _maybe there would still be an us_. Is what he wanted to say. But, as it was starting to be glaringly obvious, he was too much of a coward. 

“No! No, boo. I did this. I should have said something. I’m really fucking sorry.” Zayn stops and Louis listens to him breathe. “I miss you, Lou. God, I fucking miss you." 

And it’s not fair. It is so not fucking fair. He shouldn’t be allowed to say that and Louis shouldn’t want to say it back. It shouldn’t be able to hurt him this much anymore. But it’s Zayn and he’s Louis and just like it always is, even in this shithole they’ve found themselves in, it’s louisandzayn. 

"You’re a dick, you know that?” He finally says. But he’s smiling now and he knows Zayn can tell.

“I know. I really am. A massive one.” He can hear Zayn’s smirk and he feels a little lighter. Feels a little more himself. A little more here. 

And maybe they can do this. Maybe they can work through the pain and resentment. Maybe they can find their way through the dark and back to each other. There are a lot of maybes but Louis has always been a risk taker. And if anything was ever worth the risk, it was the possibility of having Zayn. 

“I love you. I know I messed this all up but I hope you know that Lou." 

He knows. Knows in his bones that Zayn was it for him. Knows that nothing in his life will ever be as real as what he feels for this boy with hazel eyes. And as he holds their shirt tighter, he knows they’ll make it. Knows they’ll claw their way out to make it. 

"Maybe you can pick your shirt up tomorrow, yeah?" 

Now, he wanted Zayn to hear. Hear everything he couldn’t say yet. 

_I love you_. 

"Really? I mean…yeah!" 

_I miss you_. 

"That…that sounds good." 

_Come back_. 

"I…yeah…tomorrow. I’ll see you then!" 

And Louis thinks maybe he heard it. He really fucking hopes he did. 

_Come home_.


End file.
